When you are stuck, focus on your resources rather than problem-solving
Anna Katharina Schaffner | Psychology Today
This article was originally published on 06 February 2025 on Psychology Today/The Art of Self-Improvement
Sometimes, when we are stuck, we need to change our state rather than continue to try to solve our problems analytically at all costs. We need to regulate and calm down our autonomic nervous system and reconnect with our emotions and our bodies. We need to remember what we already know and what we truly want. Above all, we need to reactivate the many resources that are already in our possession and which we cannot currently access.
I have noticed that a lot of my clients who come to me because of burnoutand a general sense of stuckness are unable to solve analytically what is preoccupying them. Although they think about their problems all the time, they don’t problem-solve but simply ruminate or worry. They tell themselves the same stories, think the same thoughts, look at the problem from the same unhelpful perspective, and remain stuck in the problem space. Rumination depletes their already low energy levels further. They tend to be trapped in circular dilemmas such as, “I want to leave my job but I don’t know what I want instead. I can’t figure out what I want instead as long as I am stuck in my job.” I have been there myself.
Or they might find themselves in a classic golden cage situation, telling themselves that they will never find another job again that pays so well, that they have worked all their lives to be in a position like that, and that it would be a criminally risky choice to leave. And yet every part of their bodies tells them to leave. Sometimes, our bodies refuse to function until their message has been heard. Often, our jobs are making us physically and mentally ill, and the truly risky choice is actually to stay. Sometimes, to paraphrase Irvin Yalom, living too safely is what is most dangerous.
Although I am a highly analytical person myself and love dissecting problems and helping my clients gain intellectual as well as emotional clarity, it is often not helpful to stay in the problem space. True progress happens elsewhere. Why? Because we can solve our problems only when we are connected with our wants and needs and feelings. Otherwise, we drown in a sea of abstract optionality, contemplating this option and that, none of which resonate. Because we are not anchored in felt knowledge and are disconnected from our bodily and emotional wisdom, we just can’t make wise choices. Maybe we even find ourselves unable to make any choices at all.
What is more, chronic high stress levels put us in fight, flight, or freeze mode. And when our autonomic nervous systems are dysregulated, we are disconnected from our inner resources. We forget what we know, what we can do, what we have done multiple times in the past. We forget what confidence and clarity and calm feel like. We forget that we were very able to muster up energy, to persevere, and to stay motivated in the past. It is precisely in these situations that we need to focus on our state, not on the problem. The solution to our problems will come to us when we have shifted state, not the other way around.
Classic short-term state-shifting strategies include listening to music, moving, exercising, or talking to friends and loved ones. Just doing something different or changing our setting can be powerful. Some people really benefit from meditating. We can all shift our state when we temporarily enter states of deep relaxation. Just going into a deep relaxation state for 10 to 20 minutes each day can significantly help us regulate stress.
But when we are truly exhausted or in a state of acute burnout, our thoughts are often so restless that something as simple as deep relaxation seems completely out of reach. While we're in that state, even if we do nothing, we cannot really rest because we ruminate and catastrophize and worry. We may think about our to-do lists or general behindness, wrestle with feelings of guilt and shame, or let our thoughts keep returning to past hurts and injustices.Meditating often seems impossible because there is too much inner noise. We may also find it impossible to muster up motivation for doing other things that would help shift our state.
But what we can always do is to listen to a guided audio trance. Because we literally have to do nothing but listen. That is always possible, no matter how bad and restless we feel. We can listen even in a restless and anxious state, when meditation might be out of reach because we have too much inner noise going on.
We can think of guided audio trances as meditation plus. First, just like meditation, they guide us into a state of deep physical relaxation whilst our attention remains hyper-focused.
Secondly, whilst our body is deeply relaxed and our attention hyper-focused, our subconscious mind and our imagination will be more open to positive suggestions. And good audio trances contain numerous positive suggestions that will have a lasting effect. That is the plus part that isn’t delivered by meditation. Audio trances speak to our imagination and our subconscious mind, both of which are essential allies for lasting behaviour change.
Third, guided audio trances usually contain visualization of resourceful states and desired outcomes. If we want to change something about ourselves or our lives, we have to be able to picture and visualize what good looks like. We must vividly imagine the rewards of behaviour change so that we can fully trust that the effort will be worth it. Visualising our aims generates optimism, motivation, and direction.
There are many excellent guided audio trances out there. I have created a bespoke selection of guided audio trances for the exhausted. They combine deep relaxation with effortless mental training and contain numerous powerful suggestions that are designed to help you shift state and reconnect you with your inner resources.
Image: Anna Katharina Schaffner
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